Obedience in itself sounds like it would be so easy, yet it’s so hard at times to truly just obey. Obedience is easy to choose when it is something we want to do or sounds so fun. What about when it’s not? What if we are asked to do things that we just don’t want to do, or we don’t understand why we are even asked.

I want faith that obeys when it is hard.

There are moments in my life where I felt the Lord leading me, and I would hesitate. Both through procrastination or outright refusal. Opportunities passed because I simply disobeyed the leading of the Lord. Inward justifications on why others would be a better choice caused me to pass by doors God opened.

I would hear God say, “Go here.” My thoughts instantly justifying why I shouldn’t. God would say, “Do this.” Fear instantly gripping me causing me to struggle with thoughts of failure and judgement. God would simply say “Trust me.” I would reason within myself why it would not work out telling myself one excuse after another.

A very popular excuse I would tell myself is that others have free will. This excuse justified within myself why I must stay in control and not vulnerable. Self-protection stopped my faith from obeying in many circumstances.

Truly, none of this matters. If I am honest with myself, I was scared emotionally of the places and things that I could only dream of doing and going. I decided deep within myself no more justifications or trying to making sense of it. Will no longer reason within myself talking myself out of it, but rather I would choose to walk in faith and obey when it is hard.

The only thing in my control is the choice to simply obey even when it is hard.

The outcome is the Lord’s. He sees the bigger picture. In hindsight, as I look back and reflect on choices I made to obey and submit to the Lord one assignment after another, I am in awe at what God is doing. I now find myself out of town on an assignment from the Lord, and I am overwhelmed with awe of how good God is. The people I meet, places I am honored to go is not I am not because of man, but rather because God chose me.

I am so thankful for the opportunities and experiences not only I get to walk in, but my family as well. Looking back on the last few years at the things I was blessed to be a part of causing me to look with expectancy to the future. I find myself being overwhelmingly excited yet beyond scared on the inside. As I sit and look out the window and process what is happening this week when I minister to the pastor’s kids of our movement and Psalm 34 just resonates so deep within me.

“O taste and see that the Lord [our God] is good! Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him.” — Psalm 34:8, AMPC

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